I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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