I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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