i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize