he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
are you so shy because you have an std?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
