There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
