I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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