it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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