So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
