if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
