Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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