I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
