oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We are all done wearing pants today
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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