After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
