he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
