he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
