I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
one might say we're banned from that church
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
