She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
