So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
there is glitter all over my balls
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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