Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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