I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
