Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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