I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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