im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
