he wants to bone in the snuggie
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it's like heaven, but drunker
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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