If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
