You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
