We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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