I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
