Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
