Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize