: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
