She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
