____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Quick, to the slutcave!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
