No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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