my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
