Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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