Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
