fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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