i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
