i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i now understand why vodka
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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