she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
