You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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