i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
