There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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