Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Damn victory sex feels great
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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