I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
