What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
