we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
