Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
