So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
