I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
