Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
