oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
