If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
