(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you didnt know i had herpes?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
