You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize