so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
