I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
