You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
