Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
