update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize