Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
soo... how was my night?
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