(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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