Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
